i am in love.

i think this person could be my partner in life. my best friend. an amazing father to our children. the pastor of our household. someone who would encourage me in my faith and i could encourage in his. someone who trusts me enough to share his innermost thoughts and feelings. 

i could have been with him. but now he’s with someone else.

it is my biggest regret. and i am so ashamed that i didn’t turn to God with my fears and reservations about being in a relationship with him. that was one of my biggest mistakes in the process.

i miss talking and crying and sharing and laughing with this person. i miss him so much. you can say when you start a relationship with someone you’ll still be close with your friends but it’s never true. 

i feel like i lost everything i had with him.

every time i think of a relationship with someone else i can’t bring myself to it because i just don’t think it would be fair to anyone else when i am so in love with this person.

life sucks. 

breakdown time.

i’m freaking out.

why didn’t i apply to more schools. why do my two top schools not want me… i didn’t show enough “interest” in them but how could i? i can’t afford to make the trip to visit either of them or take a tour. 

now i’m stuck to decide between four schools that i don’t really even want to go to but i kinda like 2 of them.

i just want it to be the weekend. i also want to cry. 

i’ve tried so hard to not let my rejections hurt me because i still have four great options but they’re not even what i really wanted. 

i want to go back in time and apply to more schools and be rich so i can go to visit schools that i really wanted. 

i literally just feel like i want to cry all the time. 

i have so much work to get done with school and i just feel like it’s time to give up but i can’t because i still have exams. why can’t i just not have work anymore. 

literally want to bash my head on a wall right now.

unlimited promos to whoever writes my theodore roosevelt essay.



stop unfollowing me this is my only source of self esteem 


there are probably more lost bobby pins than there are people in this world